TYPE OF MEN 20+YEAR OLDS HAVE TO GO THROUGH
I often hear that there is no one who has higher standards in Nairobi as the girl in her 20s. We are not too young, neither are we too old. We are just there. Trying to figure out if we actually like the courses we are currently doing or have already done in school, or we just did them to escape being the child who is constantly being discussed in family meetings. And just to imagine that when young, I wanted to get married at 23! Lets all laugh together!
Being in my twenties has taught me a lot! And in the process I have managed to interact with many characters and some have left an imprint in my life, either good or bad. So today, with the help of my girlfriends I will talk about the type of men we meet in our twenties!
I asked in almost all the WhatsApp groups I am in and its interesting to see that even guys would comment on which type they are. Shall we?( before we start let me just roll my eyes coz there will be a few so I will do one to cater for every type)
This man is always on the move! With liquor bottles on Instagram and those motivational quotes I grind but most of all I pray! smh! These men are tiring. They never have time to hangout because as usual, they are hustling now as the rest of us are having fun.
The problem comes when you ask them to go out for lunch and then you will hear all sorts of excuses. Kuna pesa nangoja place, nikiget nitakushow. For this man the only bank that recognizes their money is Tyra.*rolls eyes*
Only single when he has issues with his girlfriend! This guy is the epitome of a joke. He wants to have his cookie and still eat it (pun intended) he only texts and calls when he has either broken up with his girlfriend or when they are having issues. When you ask him his answer is “It’s complicated now but its you that I want.”
All girls have met these type. Most of them are self proclaimed DJs and do not even know where they play! They do this to get the ghels they are always in flashy clothes and act as if they know people while clearly you can see thy are struggling. Of course there are good ones, but we aren’t here to talk about them today.
The bragging type!
Do these words resonate within you? Ata this phone is spoilt, I should buy a more expensive one or you know my aunt who lives in Runda did something! These guys brag about almost everything, and its quite sad that what they brag about isn’t even theirs! They even go ahead to brag about their D game kumbe!!! Let me stop here before I put my life in danger.
The old geezer!
This man is old. Old to be your father or even older. He keeps calling you my dear (this is why people who call me dear freak me out) on texts. This man doesn’t get tired of texting you asking you to accompany him to the coast for a business meeting (which by the way you are the business) and invites you to other posh places!
He mostly calls before 9 pm because he has a wife. Keep away from these type! They are out to spoil young girls lives because he knows he has his own family with kids probably abroad. FLEEE
The one after fun.
No strings attached. I personally like this type because at least he lets you know what he wants and that he doesn’t want strings attached. This works to some extent because of course there are no strings attached literally but there are feelings attached and this gets pretty messy
This guy has a special spot in hell. He can buy you crate after crate of alcohol but he cannot give you a single cent! Have such a guy? Run sista!
He’s those who only look for you on Fridays. Their catch phrase is uko wapi? or lets catch a drink and by this they mean that they are catching the drinks as you drink. These guys have realized that the girl child has becomes wise and know their trick and so they start the convo on Wednesday ask if you are well and you respond enthusiastically because even if you are a miserable human someone has remembered you on a weekday.
By Thursday they keep the convo going by asking when your classes end and what you are up to on Friday then baaam! Friday you find yourself at 1824 whining your waist just to keep the drinks flowing. Then Sunday in church sanctifying your body that Jesus forgives the sin and shame of your youth or at least the alcohol doesnt affect you much because thats the only sin you have! Jesus should look more at the people who kill or steal, and not you who is just after innocent fun.
You meet this guy when you are out with your friend who is in a very serious relationship. From the word go, this guy looks good. For the first time you notice that his eyes light up when he especially smiles at you and something inside you whispers that he is the one.
Of course he is tall and that is what you want in a man, this is the guy you can take to your family and your cousins will especially curse at themselves for settling too early. You friend makes it a point of mentioning not once or twice that both of you are single and this guy smiles more.
You wonder why because with makeup and three months in the gym you are a strong 4 and he is like a 9. Then you figure out that nature needs to balance or so you are told and you will be one of those couples people ask aliona nini kwa huyo dem. In your head you and this man, have a mansion in Edenville 2 in Kiambu and have three kids with one last one on the way.
I digress! Anyway this guy asks for your number and you know this is it! He even says he will communicate when he gets home! So he even knows that communication is efficient in a relationship. Surely after all the frogs and toads you’ve danced for, this must be the prince. You get home and immediately your home Wi-Fi sync you get his WhatsApp message ulifika poa? this is okay considering these days people don’t do texts. You people flow, he is a great at making conversation.
Its 12am and he says you will talk kesho. This goes on for month one, two; you guys only talk on WhatsApp. You dont even know how he sounds on phone. The guy has NEVER called you sis nor has he suggested that you guys should meet. You even send him a normal text assuming maybe his normal texts have a problem and guess what he replies on WhatsApp! Ah bambi! I want you to call me for once even! These men! FLEE.
This guy needs to be flogged in public! He charms his way into your heart but in reality just wanted to get into your pants. He tells you what you want to hear. But I guess most girls fall for this because when our hearts are hungry, we eat lies.
They tell you how you are Gods gift to him. Tells you how amazing you are but all these are lies. They are mostly losers who just hurt you. To me, they are the lowest in the food chain and bring shame to manhood with the hottest spot in hell reserved for them.
I don’t know how to call this guy but you as the girl will always pay for him. He is frontline in suggesting lavish places to hang out but best believe that you will pay for your bill and his! Its not that he is broke, naah, he actually lives a very extravagant life. But its just that when its time to pay, super glue always has an upper hand and his wallet cant open. So yea, you end up paying
Dumb question guy!
This guy! Nakuona lini? Utakuja kwangu lini nikupikie?*rolls eyes* Naweza call usiku ama mzee ataleta shida (which is just his way of asking if you have a boyfriend). These breed should be excommunicated from the society!.
This is the one that is breaking up with his girlfriend for you! You wait and wait! One month, still together, month two still together. His excuse? Things are complicated right now. If only you would wait on god the way you are waiting on this man!
The ego guy!
All girls do agree on this guy. He has the IQ of a lampshade. They are so daft that if I wanted to commit suicide I would climb up his ego and jump down to his IQ! I think that summarizes this type ey?
Just says Hi All. The. Damn. Time. Its like he is always watching you. At times you feel pity for him*read bored* and respond to one of his many Texts and then its like he gets too excited he dies because he doesn’t respond afterwards! Or maybe he is making you feel how you always make him feel. Either way, the following day he feels guilty for giving you those blue ticks and he goes back to the normal trend of saying HI.
These ones are mostly in school. With their parents cars. If this guy spots you as his target! Heeeh! He will want to take you everywhere! Drop you to class, drop you back home. Then he will insist you visit him at his fathers house and then insist that you hook up there.
His favorite line “My folks aren’t around. They come back at 5 so Ill drop you home at 4. The watchie and the housy I’ve sorted them out so no worries!” Fleeee! First this is not honor to his parents house and it is total disrespect!
I put so much thought into the type of guys we meet that I totally forgot to think about how I will conclude. So yea, I guess that is it.
Feel free to add more of these types and feel free to share the ones you relate to!
ION; Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile.
Because you are a joke! Hah. Okay byeFollow me on