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The lingo of love

The lingo of love

You know that giddy feeling that tickles the walls of your insides when you meet your crush for the first time?

You suddenly can’t stop smiling and you feel as if every word that comes out of your mouth is rubbish. You gingerly draw miniature maps on your palm while biting the insides of your cheeks. Then the crush offers to give you their number and boom, you feel like you are the king/queen of the universe.

Two weeks later you don’t even remember how you saved the number of your crush; you lost interest in him/her.

So what happens then? What unspeakable chain of events take place to ensure that your stars do not align? Love at first sight suddenly turns bleak and your high feeling dials down to, well, nothing.

I recently came across a theory that befits this common situation. You see each one of us has at least two things that we respond to from someone we have feelings for. Let’s look past the attraction; the masculine features, killer figure and all those things out eyes feast on. What else do we find intriguing in the people we are interested in?

Well, there is a concept known as the language of love and it entails the following categories;

  1. Act of service
  2. Offering of gifts
  3. Assurance
  4. Good time
  5. Touch

Act of service

When you possess this particular need from a partner, you tend to fall in love with a person who willingly performs tasks for you. Whether it’s domestic like preparing delectable meals, doing dishes or laundry; someone who sets their time aside to help you do your chores.

Take note that this is for both genders, not only ladies. An act of service can also be a person noticing the little perks you enjoy and performing them for you.

For instance; a girl who buys a man u t-shirt to support her man’s team despite not liking football or a guy who learns to dance so as to be his girl’s dancing partner. Cute right?

Offering of Gifts

This one speaks for itself. If you like receiving presents, then you will definitely fall in love with someone who takes time to buy/make you gifts. I am sure most people will jump into the conclusion that people who like gifts are “gold diggers”.

Well at times it can be true but most times this perception is quite false. Gifts do not have to be grand or expensive. Sometimes you don’t even incur any costs when gifting your partner/person you are courting.

What most people don’t understand is that an expensive gift can be rejected if you do not employ the feelings of the person you are interested in.

Just because you rolled up in front of a jewel store and counted dollar bills (I am assuming you have shades on and bank otuch is sounding in the background) doesn’t guarantee your partner will enjoy much less like the gift.

Take time to study your partner/a person you are interested in. Sentimental, well thought out gifts can never go wrong.


I love you babe!

Vera Sidika has nothing on You!

Even Chris Brown can’t beat your dance moves!

Some of us enjoy knowing that we hold a special place in our partner’s life. We tend to slowly fall in love with those little assurances of beauty, admiration and affection. In the end we cannot get enough of the people we are seeing. As subtle as these reassurances are, they go a long way in making your partner feel loved.

Good time

A little survey I conducted revealed that most people look for a good time with the people they are pursuing or people pursuing them. No one wants to date someone who is a complete bore to spend time with.

It’s very easy to fall for a person with whom you are guaranteed to have fun (not someone you’ll end up discussing the weather, gas prices or corona virus with).

So yes, find out a common interest between the person you like and yourself then call them for a date, I guarantee you will be in a relationship before the end of the day.


Cole Sprouse in Five Feet Apart emphasized on the importance of human touch. He said that we do not quite realize how vital it is until that luxury is cruelly stripped from us.

A lover’s touch is something craved for and so for some people physical contact is the key needed in order to open the door for a solid relationship. This contact can be in form of holding hands, intertwining fingers, constant hugs and playful tugs.

Now that you know the five languages of love, which one is yours? Which one dominates the other? How do you respond to it?

For elaborate details you can look up a book with the title Five languages of love.

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